:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
