We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
