I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
