On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
home. puking in laundry basket.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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