They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
