bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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