my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
