These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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