she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
