that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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