I think I won the penis lottery.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I currently don't understand fingers.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
