I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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