He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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