I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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