Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
