When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
