I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
