that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
