I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
