I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Fuck appropriateness.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm too high and old for this...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
