How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You can't motorboat a personality
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
