Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
