Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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