He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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