we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
