just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
