OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
