For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
