He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think my moral compass just broke
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
