so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
