she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
