quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize