he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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