he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
