i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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