so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
