i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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