They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
