i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
