So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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