Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
