idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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