we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
