let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
