my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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