Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
