and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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