Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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