mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
