IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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